Wednesday Whinge: Which colleague annoys you the most?
Published by Max Salsbury for 24dash.com in Housing
Call for 'fundamental changes' to employment policies
It's time for 24housing deputy editor Brian Church's weekly gripe. It's like a curse. Every Wednesday.
Summertime and the living is easy. Unless your colleagues are away on holiday and you're having to cover for the lazy bastards.
I'm lucky. 24housing is a very relaxed operation (you may have picked up on this already) but I have worked at enough places in and out of housing to give you The Wednesday Whinge Guide to Annoying Workmates.
Please note that none of the names (apart from Max) refer to real people. All are honestly chosen at random.
Cool, calm and utterly oblivious to the daily demands of the job and life in general. Great fun to work with but terrific pain in the butt when deadlines need to be met. Chronic smoker to compensate for decades of brain-reducing drug abuse. Tends to suddenly take afternoons off when a bit tired. So tight-fisted that Tales of the Unexpected secretly filmed him buying a coffee. Against all that, supremely talented.
Moody, hard done-by, festering pillock. Somehow gets dollops of lolly and so will never leave. Has one GCSE in plastic mouldings from night class at since closed polytechnic. Unable to explain anything in less than five hours due to all-round thickness. Every operation has 10 Barrys, invaluable backbone of the sector.
Tries hard to empathise with social housing tenants in poverty awareness unit but the afternoon Earl Grey with a slice of lemon is a giveaway along with the surname LaSmythe-Tomkinesse. Oh and please don't scratch the 3k bike, it was a gift from ma-ma.
The one going places, the one who always speaks at meetings when the bigshots are present, the one who delegates so ably, the one who does that oh-so-informed presentation, the one who talks about work when you're in the pub for crying out loud, the one who leaves no mark on any controversial document, the one who toes the corporate line because he has no view on policy except self-promotion, the one who will sacrifice anyone, the one who will be No. 1.