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A week in housing

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Published by Max Salsbury for 24dash.com in Housing

A week in housing A week in housing

Image: Housing via Shutterstock

Well, housing fans, another week has passed and is now consigned to the Dustbin of History, along with all our hopes and dreams etc.

But it’s not all bad news. On Monday, the never-tiring campaign group Generation Rent revealed that the country’s private landlords might be warming to a national register.

Generally frosty to such a proposal, the sudden change of heart remains slightly mysterious.

But Monday brought bad tidings for country folk. According to the National Housing Federation, the average rural type needs a 150% pay rise to afford a home. Not that this matters, of course, because you’re not allowed to build any homes in the country anyway.

You know how it goes:

“I don’t want any homes built in this beautiful bucolic area.”

“What about your house?”

“That’s different.”

On Tuesday we reported how Housing Minister Hopkins and Shadow Reynolds had a stats duel squabble in the House of Commons.

Not really achieving anything, the two played ‘Your Party’s Worse Than Mine’ for a bit, before sitting down and having a rest.

Meanwhile, also occurring in the House of a Billion Expense Claims, sorry, seat of democracy, was the news that Lib Dem Sarah Teather is introducing a bill to end so-called ‘revenge evictions’.

These nefarious things happen when landlords get the hump over tenants making pedantic complaints, like having sewage coming out of their taps or killer hornets living under the bed.

Once a reasonably big player in the coalition, Sarah’s fall from favour has seen her become increasingly renegade, presumably reasoning that if she’s not going to be able to climb the political ladder, she may as well represent the wishes of her constituents.

And so on to Wednesday, known as the middle of the week in some circles.

The strangely quiet Nick Boles suddenly piped up (where has he been?), declaring that henceforth he will be using his powers to help would-be self-builders realise their dreams.

An Ipsos MORI poll recently found that over a million Brits would like to build their own home – and I’m one of them. I’ve always wanted a hallway with one of those portraits in that you can climb behind and spy through the eyeholes…Where was I?

Wednesday also saw the just-before-Midnight realisation of the ludicrous Brian Church’s now legendary ‘Wednesday Whinge’.

A talking point for literally a few people in the sector, the frenzied 24housing magazine deputy editor unleashed his wrath on…well, have a read and see if you can decide.

Thursday: The only day of the week beginning with a ‘t’, except Tuesday of course.

A good news day! Despite a housing crisis of biblical proportions, a whole island has come on the market. The 2km long Mediterranean paradise retreat will no doubt bring endless pleasure to the billionaire that finally bumbles along and snaps it up.

You know, it’s heartening: millions of struggling people can’t even afford a rabbit hutch to live in while a handful of individuals have enough money to buy all of Belgium. Thank goodness the world is TOTALLY SANE. Go capitalism!

Talking of people who can afford to buy Belgium, on Friday (or today. Same thing) we covered the antics of Richard Benyon, Britain’s richest MP (lucky him).

The plucky Tory’s family firm has snapped up a Hackney housing estate and now plans to push up the rents – all the better for purging it of those too poor to pay.

Questioned on the theme by Diane Abbott, David Cameron comprehensively ignored her and spouted a load of old spiel (bollocks) about the need to build some new houses.

So, another normal week in housing.

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