You want it WHEN ??!!

Published by Broadlands1 for Broadlands in Housing and also in Bill Payments, Central Government, Communities, Education, Environment, Health, Local Government

Have you ever managed to get your kids to bed on time? Does your partner always seem to have more ‘nights out with the girls/lads’ than you do? Does your boss make you fight unreasonably for the resources you need, or does his poor preparation mean he always needs stuff yesterday? (in the immortal words of David Brent: “Lack of planning of your part does not constitute an emergency on my part”). Sounds like you should consider working on your win-win negotiation skills.

Negotiation isn’t only for table-thumping executives in major companies, union reps with lists of demands or hopeful entrepreneurs on Dragon’s Den. It’s an everyday activity, from bartering with your kids (‘if you go to bed now I’ll read you a story’) to agreeing when you’ll complete a piece of work by (‘I could have it done for the end of the week’ – then under-promise and over-deliver). Think about it – you probably need to negotiate for something or other almost every day, and clearly you need to be able to win when it really matters.

But just winning your fight might not be the perfect result if it harms (or even destroys) a working relationship. Whether you’re asking for something, or being asked, the ideal outcome will be a win-win situation, where both sides feel positive about the negotiation once it’s over, and both feel as if they’ve got something out of it. This is particularly important where you need to have an ongoing relationship – whether it’s with colleagues, friends, family, etc.

So how can you approach negotiating with confidence, secure that you won’t spoil a good relationship, that you won’t undermine trust or damage teamwork? Try considering a few of these points and see how you get on.

Goals – what do you want to get out of the negotiation, and what do you think the other side wants? Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes will help you to see the issue more clearly, and will help you to tailor your approach to appeal more effectively to them.

Trades – what are you prepared to concede, and what will you not give way on? What do you have that the other side wants? What are you prepared to give away?

Emotions – especially at work, try not to use emotion as a manipulative tool as it will undermine the rational basis of your argument. If you need to consider how something makes you feel, try to do so in a detached manner if you can.

Power – consider who has the power within the relationship. If it’s you, don’t abuse it. If it’s not you, try to approach the negotiation by preparing your argument in a reasonable way, and set yourself targets for what you would like to achieve. This will give you more confidence to ask for what you want, and to be able to explain why it is the right solution.

Targets – as just mentioned, setting targets for your negotiation will help you approach the discussion clearly and focus your mind on your requirements, rather than just trying to win an argument. This is really helpful for meetings too. Before you start, set yourself three targets –
1. your main target – what you reasonably want to achieve
2. a stretch target – if discussions are going well, what else you might ask for in addition to your main request or position
3. a fallback target – what you’re prepared to concede or how far back you are prepared to retreat without feeling like you’ve lost completely.

Being organised like this will help you to focus and shape your argument constructively without feeling defensive or beaten. You’ll know what to ask for, how far you can reasonably push it, what you’re prepared to trade, and what you won’t give way on. You’ll give yourself a better idea of the other side’s view and the likely outcome. You might even get a story. Win win.

If you’d like more information on how to improve your management skills, visit our website www.broadlandsconsulting.com or call us on 01543 220752.