Will London's mayoral hopefuls remember homeless promise?

Published by Max Salsbury on Friday, May 4th, 2012 at 13:21 pm

Under the gloomy skies of a Friday afternoon it's looking like Boris "I'm whacky, I am" Johnson is going to hold on to the Mayorship in London. Oh goody. Johnson's grip on the people of Britain's largest village is unusual. Can they trust him? If they can, can his wife and children trust him?

Johnson’s great advantage is that he isn’t Ken Livingstone. It’s almost unfair. He was born not being Ken Livingstone, so yet another accident of birth privileges the tiresome one. As everyone knows, Livingstone is so socialist he could win a Who’s the most Socialist? competition in Cuba. So socialist in fact that he slimes his way out of his true tax obligations so he can keep the money for sustaining a lifestyle fitting for a man of the left.

Meanwhile, the unctuous Johnson got into quite a flap when he was questioned about his alleged flirtations with News International – Britain’s most adored company. Johnson shouldn’t feel too ashamed about being involved with Murdoch: virtually everyone in the known universe is connected to the company in some shabby way.

Anyway, with apologies to the rest of the candidates, which ever of these two clowns wins, they might want to remember that before the election they made a promise to Crisis to end homelessness. To be fair to Johnson, he’s only been in power for 4 years and was probably too busy to notice London’s homeless. Johnson never skirts the issues, especially when the issue is skirts.

As for true blue Livingstone, if he wins perhaps he could spend a little of that money he’s put aside on supporting a shelter or two. I wouldn’t hold your breath, though - it’s clearly expensive being a socialist.